Have you hurt people your partner cares about as a way of hurting him, or damaged things of importance to him?
How often has your partner refused to speak with you for some time (a few hours, a day or for more than a day), refused to eat the food you have cooked or slept in a different room away from the bedroom you share?
How many times has your spouse ever hurt people you care about as a way of hurting you, or damaged things of importance to you?